The Rad Readalong: “The Fault in Our Stars” Chapter Six

Posted: April 8, 2015 in Rad Readalong
Tags: , , , ,

Hazel tells her mom about the whole Amsterdam trip Augie has planned, but Ma needs a bit of convincing. She’s not immediately enthusiastic about her 16½ year old daughter flying off to Europe with some boy she has only met once. Hazel’s mom seems pretty reasonable to be honest.
After consulting Hazel’s doc, it is decided that Ma will join the teenagers in their travels. Significantly lowering the chances of any STDs or foetuses contracted on this Amsterdam trip. Hazel’s dad is to be left home alone to eat pizza and masturbate furiously. (Oh shut up, it is totally implied).

Hazel mopes about how she pussied out when Augie went to caress her face at their Dutch picnic. It seems like she found the whole thing a bit too scripted and unnatural. She decides to act her age and gender and calls up her BFF Kaitlyn to talk about boy problems.
Kaitlyn actually gives sound advice. (Colour me surprised!) She also knows exactly who the boy, whose identity Hazel deliberately keeps vague, is. All she needs are these three facts:

  1. He is a basket ball player
  2. He goes to North Central (which is a really weird name. How can something be north and central at the same time?)
  3. Hazel met him at Sucky Cancer Youth Group Therapy

Kaitlyn’s take on the situation is, that maybe Hazel is not as into Augie as she thinks. Maybe when she flinched at his touch, her subconscious was warning her that they might not be compatible.
Then, like everyone who has ever asked for advice, Hazel promptly ignores it and comes to her own conclusion: that she is afraid of hurting Augie.

Hazel looks up Augie’s dead ex-gf on Facebook. (I would do the same. I’m nosy as fuck!) She reads comments from her friends and lurks through her pictures. Turns out Hazel and Dead Ex look quite a lot alike. Augie, dude, come on…not cool, man, not cool!
Hazel gets all bent out of shape over a recent post from one of Dead Ex’s friends.

“We all miss you so much. It just never ends. It feels like we were all wounded in your battle, Caroline. I miss you. I love you.”

She tries to suppress the feeling, that the exact same post could so easily be splashed across her own Facebook page by someone like Kaitlyn.

At dinner Hazel cannot get the post out of her head. She feels like a time bomb and when her parents press her on why she seems absent, she lets them know.

“I’m like. Like. I’m like a grenade, Mom. I’m a grenade and at some point I’m going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, okay?”

Hurting as few people as possible might seem noble to Hazel, but here is the thing: Life will out!
Not just biological life, like how roots can grow through solid rock to find water, but also our lives. They demand to be led, to be experienced. So even if we, when we die, we leave behind us a crater of despair, we must not let that stop us from living our lives.
In short: Life is a gift, do not dare squander it out of fear!

Hazel, unfortunately, is adamant that she will leave as tiny a crater in her wake as possible. So she texts Augie that they cannot do kissies because she will only end up hurting him.
Has that ever deterred anyone? The last time a girl used that line on me, I jumped in head first anyway. And yeah I ended up getting hurt, just like she promised me, but when you have a crush, you have a crush. End of story.
And Augie is no different from me. He deflects the text like a pro; with humour.

Hazel’s parents come to speak with her and they are great. They say all the right things, like how Hazel is no grenade to them, she’s amazing, every moment is a blessing. All that jazz.
They leave her to get some sleep and she does until she wakes up with an insane pain in her membrain.

Has hazel contracted Dead Ex’s brain cancer? Will Ma and Pa ever get more personality than “Perfect parents”? Will Augie give up on Hazel and find another girl that looks like his dead ex-gf? We’ll have to wait till Wednesday to find out.

P.S. I think there was a reference I didn’t understand. Hazel’s dad calls her twitterpated and she mentions she’s not a bunny. What’s the connection there? Apart from breeding like rabbits, is there another saying about bunnies falling head over heels for they fellow rabbit kin? What am I missing?

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